What stops us from being kind?
“Being kind is free and a currency that’s cherished. Being kind to yourself pays off in dividends. Being kind to others is invaluable…. Kind People are my kind of people.” Dr. Joel P. Martin
We don’t need to have a lot of money to be kind. Regardless of how much we know, who we know, how old we are, where we live, we can be kind. Being kind makes us beautiful. Kindness is being caring, warm, and giving to others. The word comes from the Middle English word ‘kindness’ meaning ‘noble deeds’ or ‘courtesy’.
What stops us from being kind?
Fear of having our kindness rejected or misunderstood, fear of doing it wrong. Anger, envy, and mistrust because of stereotypes and bigotry. In Between the World and Me, Author Ta-Nehisi Coates writes this on receiving the kindness of a stranger “…watching him walk away, I felt that I had missed part of the experience because of my eyes because my eyes were made in Baltimore because my eyes were blindfolded by fear.”
Maria Popova writes in Brainpickings that “the measure of true kindness …is often revealed in those challenging instances when we must rise above the impulse toward its opposite, ignited by fear and anger and despair.” And we can do this. We can become aware of and practice being kind. It is teachable.
Kindness can increase happiness.
- It is contagious. The positive effects are experienced in the brain of everyone who witnessed the act, improving their mood, and making them more likely to “pay it forward.”
- It produces oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’ which aids in lowering blood pressure, improving overall heart-health, self-esteem, and optimism.
- It increases energy, happiness, lifespan, pleasure, and serotonin, a chemical that can calm us down, and make us feel happy.
Here’s what kindness decreases.
- It decreases pain. Engaging in acts of kindness produces endorphins, the brain’s natural painkiller.
- It decreases depression, stress, and anxiety. Stephen Post of Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine found that when we give of ourselves, everything from life satisfaction to self-realization and physical health is significantly improved. Mortality is delayed, depression is reduced and well-being and good fortune are increased.
- It decreases blood pressure. Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and, therefore, oxytocin is known as a “cardioprotective” hormone. It protects the heart by lowering blood pressure. David R. Hamilton: “Acts of kindness create emotional warmth, which releases the hormone oxytocin.”
Good to know and support: The Be Kind People Project® (BKPP) is a non-profit dedicated to providing students with comprehensive youth development programming that effectively uses a positive approach to social, emotional, and academic learning. BKPP has a vision of building a generation of respectful, responsible, healthy, and caring citizens and leaders and believes that in a multicultural society, trust, understanding, tolerance, and kindness are the cornerstones of peace, order, and civility.
