Oct 27, 2014 | Business, Coaches Corner, Coaching
Being there is not a reference to the Jerzy Kosinski’s book and movie “Being There” starring Peter Sellers, instead we are speaking about how we can train our brains and bodies to get us to where it is we say we want our future to be. Simply put “Being There is How We Get There”. Let’s explain using what we have all heard from many sports and entertainment figures: “When I was young I would dream of making the last shot in a basketball game to win the championship”. Or, “I dreamed about hitting a home run to end the baseball game”. Or, “I was being awarded an Academy Award for Best Actress in a movie, all to outrageous applause and cheers”. If you talked with anyone who has had this kind of vision about their lives, you will learn that they are not at all surprised by what others might call a spectacular feat. They have lived with the actual event in their heads and hearts for many years.
Being There is How We Get There
We all can agree that predicting the future, even with the use of big data, is nearly impossible and yet if we can imagine ourselves in our future condition, we recognize what it will take to get us there. Looking back from this view we learn how hard we will need to work and practice on being our future self. Our focus changes as we become clear about our purpose (our “why”). So we now know two of the steps of getting where you want to be: 1) Have a vision. And 2) See what it takes to get there. Now comes the most difficult part.
[Tweet “So you have a vision. See what it takes to get there. Now”]
Staying on Purpose: The difference between Being There and a Dream
We’ve all had dreams that were grand, where we saw our future lives as fantastically rewarding, full of success and blessings. But life has not turned out that way. Well, nothing is guaranteed. As we are never too old to have a dream or an aspiration for ourselves, what is required is our being imaginative and allowing own brains and bodies to relax a bit. (Meditation is great for this.)
You need to work hard to stand out!
So you have a vision. You see what it takes to get there. Now…
- Discover what is required of you, the practices you will need to adopt and who you will need to be for other people.
- Take action on this vision and don’t be a spectator of your own life. If you are basketball player then always be shooting. (“Putting the work in every single day, being creative with the work that you’re doing,” says Steve Kerr, Coach of the Golden State Warriors and historically the game’s best 3 point shooter ever.) If you are a photographer, take tons of pictures etc. Not everything we do will result in a success, there can be a lot of disappointments. Use these disappointments and “mistakes” as motivation for moving forward.
- Stay on purpose. Because we are ourselves, we have difficulty in seeing how and what we are doing. Without the support of others we can easily stray and even give up. To avoid dreams gone bad (#DGB), be a glutton for feedback and find a good personal or executive coach who will hold you accountable for your vision. Have the words “I WILL” be the first thing you say to yourself each morning and leave nothing to Chance.
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Sep 26, 2014 | ageing, Business, Coaches Corner, leadership
Many people ask me “what is transformation”? For me, in a personal way it is the word that best expresses the way I saved my life. It is the label I give my gift, my passion, my calling. This word is what makes me happy. And that is because of the feelings attached to it when I first heard it and experienced it in a personal large group training program. Before then I was unaware. That was in 1986.
With the advancement of my profession, and that training industry, a lot of new word blurring tags have been added to the word transformation – even a profitable movie franchise and a line of toys. For me, it will always mean the creation of a new way of being, a new context. What is context? It is a word for expressing paradigm, belief system, the set of interpretations out which we live our life, dream about what’s possible and create results.
Within the context, are the contents that naturally exist within that context. For example, I live in Arizona where it is hot and a desert environment (context). What exists naturally within that environment? Rattle snakes, cactus, scorpions, etc. While one might grow a cactus anywhere, in order for it to survive, the conditions that are natural to it must be provided. Too much water, the cactus dies.
How does this work with people? if you were taught that anything was possible for you (context) and you believed that, you would act out that context on your job, in your marriage, relationships, (contents), etc. guided by your context. Another example, if you were told repeatedly that you were never going to amount to anything, that you were too fat or dumb, etc. that belief would become “true” to you and that would be your context. And the content of your life would follow that system of beliefs. Change your context you change your life. I did.
There is this expression about transformation from Eric Butterworth, Author, Discover the Power Within You: “The caterpillar can fly, but not as a caterpillar – only as a butterfly. (She) has the potential, but something has to happen to (her)…. As the caterpillar changes its embodiment. It enters a new world. Suddenly, there is a whole new set of principles at work and (she) releases a whole new potentiality.”
And this from Romans 12:2
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
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Sep 24, 2014 | Business, Coaches Corner, Diversity & Inclusion, leadership
Would you be okay with the theft of your identity? What if someone took your name, your company, your skills and marketed them as their own? How would you feel about that? I doubt that it would work for you. That is the power of your brand and gives you an idea of why it is so important that you consciously build it and protect it. Whether it is for a person or an organization positively powerful brands are built on trust and trust builds loyalty, connections that last and communications that are authentic. Consistent actions stem from values which, over time, lead to who and what we are seen to be.
[Tweet “Branding: For a person or an organization positively powerful brands are built on trust and trust builds “]I had the privilege of working with an organization on the leadership alignment of the employees to the new vision and values of the organization. There was team building, feedback sessions, vision and values dialogs, executive coaching, follow up sessions and more. The context of the work that we did together was based on world-class values and importantly became the new state of being of this organization. Diversity and inclusion were embedded in the values. The core values we identified as being most important are below. They are the elements of the moral compass of the organization and quite easily can be appreciated as the morale compass of a transformational leader. The organization walks its talk. Their brand is stellar, owned and protected by all employees and customers. They are a leader in their industry.
Corporate and Personal Branding
Are these attributes that you live by? Are they demonstrated by your organization’s leadership?
- Commitment: The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to some course of action, then doing whatever it takes to have it happen.
- Integrity: Adherence to a code of behavior. Completeness. Wholeness. Embraces honesty – a willingness to tell the truth. No withheld communication that could block success.
- Responsibility: Being the source of something, choosing to act and owning ones results. Not blaming others for anything.
- Accountability: Explaining a narrative or recording events as the answerable party. Alerting others about threats to organizational well-being.
- Partnership: Being associated with another in a common interest, then taking actions that indicate you care as much about their success as you do for your own.
- Acknowledgment: The act of recognizing someone’s existence, validity, authority, right or contribution. Providing positive reinforcement.
- Vulnerability: Ability to communicate heartfelt emotions authentically; perceived congruency between head and heart; accessible. Open and unguarded in expressing and receiving communication.
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Sep 16, 2014 | Coaches Corner, Diversity & Inclusion, relationships
We are quickly losing touch with how to create and build relationships. We begin to lose this ability to relate early on in our childhood when we are taught that everything is a competition and for us to lose, means we will suffer a fate similar to that of the fictional characters in the Hunger Games. Winner takes all.
Competition is a good thing and It is not the only thing.
Take a look around and notice how much of your day is consumed by “not losing”. Having to win being the only acceptable result, results in a lot of losing. If we look at every relationship we have as a competitive one we miss the chance to learn something new from someone that is very different than ourselves.
The world is a very different place than just 25 years ago and we are coming into contact or relationships with people all around the world made possible because of an abundance of new communication technology. We are quickly understanding that there is plenty of room for everyone to grow and do well.
[Tweet “Having to win being the only acceptable result, results in a lot of losing.”]
Here are 3 conversations that will build non-competitive relationships.
- Listen and respect others’ points of view. Aggressively arguing has become entertainment which may be fine for TV but arguing is exhausting and exacerbates personal relationships.
- Work together to find a solution to any problem that everyone will find comfort with. Compromise is not a dirty word. Imagine that the situation is not “either-or” but “both-and”.
- Acknowledge and support individual accomplishments. Respecting that those you have the closest relationship to have their own personal existence and goals and they should be applauded for their accomplishments.
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