Oct 27, 2014 | Business, Coaches Corner, Coaching
Being there is not a reference to the Jerzy Kosinski’s book and movie “Being There” starring Peter Sellers, instead we are speaking about how we can train our brains and bodies to get us to where it is we say we want our future to be. Simply put “Being There is How We Get There”. Let’s explain using what we have all heard from many sports and entertainment figures: “When I was young I would dream of making the last shot in a basketball game to win the championship”. Or, “I dreamed about hitting a home run to end the baseball game”. Or, “I was being awarded an Academy Award for Best Actress in a movie, all to outrageous applause and cheers”. If you talked with anyone who has had this kind of vision about their lives, you will learn that they are not at all surprised by what others might call a spectacular feat. They have lived with the actual event in their heads and hearts for many years.
Being There is How We Get There
We all can agree that predicting the future, even with the use of big data, is nearly impossible and yet if we can imagine ourselves in our future condition, we recognize what it will take to get us there. Looking back from this view we learn how hard we will need to work and practice on being our future self. Our focus changes as we become clear about our purpose (our “why”). So we now know two of the steps of getting where you want to be: 1) Have a vision. And 2) See what it takes to get there. Now comes the most difficult part.
[Tweet “So you have a vision. See what it takes to get there. Now”]
Staying on Purpose: The difference between Being There and a Dream
We’ve all had dreams that were grand, where we saw our future lives as fantastically rewarding, full of success and blessings. But life has not turned out that way. Well, nothing is guaranteed. As we are never too old to have a dream or an aspiration for ourselves, what is required is our being imaginative and allowing own brains and bodies to relax a bit. (Meditation is great for this.)
You need to work hard to stand out!
So you have a vision. You see what it takes to get there. Now…
- Discover what is required of you, the practices you will need to adopt and who you will need to be for other people.
- Take action on this vision and don’t be a spectator of your own life. If you are basketball player then always be shooting. (“Putting the work in every single day, being creative with the work that you’re doing,” says Steve Kerr, Coach of the Golden State Warriors and historically the game’s best 3 point shooter ever.) If you are a photographer, take tons of pictures etc. Not everything we do will result in a success, there can be a lot of disappointments. Use these disappointments and “mistakes” as motivation for moving forward.
- Stay on purpose. Because we are ourselves, we have difficulty in seeing how and what we are doing. Without the support of others we can easily stray and even give up. To avoid dreams gone bad (#DGB), be a glutton for feedback and find a good personal or executive coach who will hold you accountable for your vision. Have the words “I WILL” be the first thing you say to yourself each morning and leave nothing to Chance.
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Oct 20, 2014 | Business, Coaching, leadership
Finding your edge is understanding the boundaries of your comfort zone. Being on the edge produces at least two emotional responses, uncertainty and fear being the most common. Taking a risk is usually not dangerous but our brain has difficulty distinguishing the difference. When we’ve decided to explore the boundaries of what we feel comfortable about we know we have choices and so while we might experience fear it is in part our own choosing. We just need to inform our brain as to what is really going on. Our fear is really a risk that we are contemplating. It is mentally challenging but not physically dangerous. We feel somewhat in control.
Being on the Edge: Telling the difference between Risk and Danger
We recently and unexpectedly encountered a rattlesnake in our backyard in an area that we visit just about every day without ever thinking that there could be something there that we did not know was there (our comfort zone). After a few minutes and a reorientation (fear and uncertainty) we begin to systematically think about our next steps. Was this a risk or dangerous situation?
- Without panicking, we moved as quickly as possible away from the snake’s striking distance, making sure not to startle it. Remove ourselves from the danger.
- Let everyone who was around know of the possible danger. Be responsible.
- Find an expert, someone who knows how to remove a rattlesnake without causing it or anyone else harm. Find a good solution and eliminate the danger.
Being on the edge and leaving your comfort zone is something very different even if the emotion is similar to being in danger. Examples that we remember and recovered from include:
Asking or being asked for a dance as a teenager- Asking for a promotion or raise
- That new and trending hairstyle or platform shoes
- That car you couldn’t afford
- Your first Zipline
Finding your edge, taking a risk and recovering supports us in being bigger and better human beings, enabling us to take on our dreams and vision to completion.
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Sep 16, 2014 | Coaches Corner, Diversity & Inclusion, relationships
We are quickly losing touch with how to create and build relationships. We begin to lose this ability to relate early on in our childhood when we are taught that everything is a competition and for us to lose, means we will suffer a fate similar to that of the fictional characters in the Hunger Games. Winner takes all.
Competition is a good thing and It is not the only thing.
Take a look around and notice how much of your day is consumed by “not losing”. Having to win being the only acceptable result, results in a lot of losing. If we look at every relationship we have as a competitive one we miss the chance to learn something new from someone that is very different than ourselves.
The world is a very different place than just 25 years ago and we are coming into contact or relationships with people all around the world made possible because of an abundance of new communication technology. We are quickly understanding that there is plenty of room for everyone to grow and do well.
[Tweet “Having to win being the only acceptable result, results in a lot of losing.”]
Here are 3 conversations that will build non-competitive relationships.
- Listen and respect others’ points of view. Aggressively arguing has become entertainment which may be fine for TV but arguing is exhausting and exacerbates personal relationships.
- Work together to find a solution to any problem that everyone will find comfort with. Compromise is not a dirty word. Imagine that the situation is not “either-or” but “both-and”.
- Acknowledge and support individual accomplishments. Respecting that those you have the closest relationship to have their own personal existence and goals and they should be applauded for their accomplishments.
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May 21, 2014 | Diversity & Inclusion, Events, PPW Awards
This past Friday, there was a truly wonderful gathering of Positively Powerful Woman Awards recipients and their friends for breakfast at the spectacular Phoenix Botanical Garden. This was an opportunity for me to introduce this year’s Positively Powerful Woman Award recipients to our community of past award recipients. The honorees will be officially honored at the Positively Powerful Women Awards luncheon on June 20 at the Ritz-Carlton, Phoenix. After a welcome to the Garden by MaryLynn Mack, Deputy Director, we celebrated the accomplishments of all recipients, acknowledged Positively Powerful sponsors and special guests then toured the Garden. As one person said “It was so fantastic to see nearly 80 people this morning at the VIP Breakfast with Dr. Joel P Martin. The Desert Botanical Garden was a fabulous location for the breakfast. It was great to see so many, many phenomenal people!” Another said, “Awesome and inspiring!” Yes it was. “Thank you” to Desert Botanical Garden for making this possible.
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